Self-Care and Coping in Seasons of Change

The sun is shining, the weather is getting warmer - summer is here and changes are right around the corner! In the spring and summer months, we often think of the age-old line of “spring cleaning” - meaning extra things to do and tackle apart from our everyday lives and duties, including home life, work and/or school, and keeping up with friends and loved ones. Whether it’s physically cleaning our space or cleaning up some of our mental and emotional clutter, we can all agree that change takes a toll on us - physically, mentally, and emotionally - which results in an increased need for some self-care.

Self-care is thought of in many different ways. For some, it’s having a favorite drink and taking a nice, long bath. For others, it can be seeking out support from family or friends and keeping themselves busy. Regardless, it’s important to note that self-care exists on a spectrum; it is not a one-size-fits-all approach and takes some trying and thinking to figure out what works best for us to decompress and feel recharged. Here are some tips and tricks to help figure out what works for you to feel your best and reset your self-care battery:

Identify what self-care looks like for you personally.

            Self-care, by definition, is the “practice of taking regular action to protect our well-being and happiness, especially in times of stress.” Self-care includes addressing many different domains in our life, such as: physical, emotional, psychological, professional, spiritual, and personal. Knowing this, self-care often looks different from person to person. Whereas one person might find comfort in reading and taking a long nap, others may find personal joy in physical activity, connecting with others, or even saying “no” to things not preferred, at that time. Figuring out what works best for you personally in each of these domains is crucial to developing a self-care routine that feels beneficial for you and you alone. This quiz and resource can be a start in generating some ideas and what self-care type works best for you.

Recognize that changing and trying new things is a process.

            If the warmer months are your time to physically declutter, try something new, or switch up old routines - it’s important to recognize that change and new habits take time to build. Studies have shown a variety of times it takes to form a habit - anywhere from a few weeks, to a few months! This can often be a source of frustration due to our natural desire to want to learn things quickly and reach an achievement. Taking some time to give yourself grace and recognize that change is an often uncomfortable, tricky process is important. Remind yourself that if you slip up one day, it doesn’t mean the habit or change will not happen and you’re back at square one. Try picking it back up the next day and offer yourself some kind words, such as:

• “Things happen, and I can try again.”
• “Just because one day was missed doesn’t mean I have to start all over.”
• “It is okay to try again tomorrow.”

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries!

Boundary setting, or “defining and communicating your personal limits to protect your well-being and foster healthy relationships,” is a crucial part of self-care. Boundaries are our way of protecting our internal peace and prioritizing what matters the most to us. When we ignore our boundaries, or areas that feel comfortable and important to us, and do things that empty our self-care cup, this often results in increased feelings of fatigue, discomfort, and actions that don’t align with our personal values, or the things that feel most important to us (if you are interested in exploring what your top values are, try this interactive tool!). 

As the age-old phrase goes, “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” Explore what feels right for you and identify where some room for saying “no” or alternative options might be best to help preserve your energy and capacity for coping with day-to-day events, whether it’s personally, socially, or professionally. Try saying “no” to an after-hours event that feels like it’s a “bit too much” after a long day or work on sharing household chores and tasks with a partner to make the load feel a bit more even. Small, assertive ways to create more firm boundaries are a great start to improving our capacity to hold these lines firm.

Self-care doesn’t have to take a “one size fits all” approach and finding tools and resources to help fill our self-care battery to recharge takes time, effort, and patience. In these seasons of growth and change, it can be beneficial to reflect on what has been helpful for you in the past, along with identifying some areas that you would like to grow and work on more. Recognizing that you are worthy of time, rest, and support are crucial to getting through our everyday struggles and successes.