Helping Kids Cope with Loss
Helping Your Child Cope with Loss: A Guide for Parents
As parents, we strive to protect our children from the harsh realities of the world. However, despite our best efforts, we cannot shield them from experiencing the pain of loss. Whether it’s the loss of a family member, childhood friend, or a beloved pet, young children often find themselves unequipped to deal with the feelings of grief and sadness that accompany such losses.
Here are some ways you can support your child in coping with loss:
Share What They Can Understand
Children have vivid imaginations, and their minds can often conjure scenarios far scarier than reality. You might worry that speaking openly about a pet or loved one’s illness and impending death will cause anxiety, but not talking about it can cause even more distress. It’s important to share facts and information that are age-appropriate. For instance, a 12-year-old may understand the concept of hospice care, while a 5-year-old may not. With younger children, stick to the simple essentials of death and dying.
Use Children’s Books
Finding the right words to explain death and dying to a young child can be challenging. Children's books about illness, dying, and bereavement can be a tremendous help, guiding you in having developmentally appropriate conversations with your child. Here are some excellent books to consider:
- Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children for ages 3-6
- Something Very Sad Happened: A Toddler’s Guide to Understanding Death for ages 2-4
- When a Pet Dies for ages 3-6
Create a Memory Box
One way to help your child cope with loss is to create a memory box. This can be a simple yet powerful activity that allows children to honor and remember their loved one or pet. Encourage your child to gather mementos such as photos, letters, or special objects that remind them of the person or pet who has passed away. Decorating the box and adding to it over time can provide a tangible way for your child to process their grief and keep cherished memories alive.
Encourage Their Honest Feelings
Loss can lead people of all ages to shut down emotionally. Emotional numbness is a form of denial. While it’s okay for a child to take some space after the initial loss, you need to help them express their feelings. Unexpressed emotions can lead to mental and physical issues in the future. Encourage your child to talk about their feelings and reassure them that it's okay to feel sad, angry, or confused.
Accept Their Honest Feelings
Just like adults, kids may experience a range of emotions from anger and sadness to guilt and shame. It’s natural and okay for your child to feel any emotion they may have. Let them know this and support them at every step of their grieving process. Validate their feelings and provide a safe space for them to express themselves.
Seek Professional Help
Your child may benefit from working with a play therapist who can offer tools and coping strategies. Look for someone who is not only qualified but also someone with whom both you and your child feel comfortable. A therapist can provide valuable support and guidance during this difficult time.
If you’re interested in exploring treatment options, please get in touch with us at In Bloom Counseling. We’d be more than happy to discuss how we may be able to help your child navigate their grief and find healing.