Parenting is Hard: Reflecting on the Journey and Embracing Growth

Parenting has undoubtedly been one of the most challenging roles I’ve ever taken on in my life. Looking back on my journey of raising small children, I can see just how much my parenting style has evolved over the years. It’s been nothing short of an adventure—a mix of self-discovery, learning, and love.

Maintaining Perspective During the Chaos

Parenting can feel overwhelming, especially during moments of high stress or busy schedules. One of the biggest challenges is keeping perspective—balancing what we believe should happen with the reality of what is happening with our children.

This internal struggle often feels like an East-meets-West conflict in parenting styles. As parents, we bring well-meaning intentions and hopes for how our children will behave, but reality doesn’t always align with our expectations.

If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking, “When I was a kid, I would never have said that to my parents” or “Kids today just don’t…”—you’re not alone. These thoughts are incredibly common and often tied to our own upbringing and cultural influences.

Exploring Parenting Styles Through the Lens of Culture

Culture plays a significant role in shaping parenting styles. But culture isn’t just about ethnicity or religion; it’s also about how we were raised, the values instilled in us, and the practices we observed at home, in school, or within our communities.

As I reflect on my childhood, certain memories stand out—situations and how my parents handled them. These experiences deeply influence how I approach parenting now.

For instance, I often think about something my dad used to say when I was upset or struggling: “Now, come on… have I ever steered you wrong?” At the time, it felt reassuring, but it was also loaded. What would have happened if I had disagreed or said, “You don’t understand”? Would he have been hurt, angry, or dismissive?

These reflections remind me to consider how my words and actions affect my own children. Am I creating a space where they feel safe expressing themselves?

The Struggle of “Should Be”

Parenting often comes with expectations—how things should be or how our children should behave. This can lead to frustration, self-doubt, and a spiral of insecurity.

When I catch myself stuck in the “should-be” mindset, I try to refocus on these key truths:

• I’m doing the best I can with what I know.
• Parenting is a learning process—I don’t know what I don’t know until I realize I don’t know it.
• I love my children unconditionally, and my self-questioning is proof of my desire to be the best parent I can be.

The Challenges of Parenting

Parenting is an intense, all-consuming job. It’s mundane, repetitive, and exhausting. Running a household, caring for a partner, and being the sole provider for your child’s needs is overwhelming. On top of it all, there’s always unsolicited advice—whether from a well-meaning relative, a childless friend, or even a stranger in line at the grocery store.

Despite these challenges, I’ve learned that improving as a parent requires reflection and a willingness to adapt. Parenting, like any other skill, demands continuous growth and learning.

Embracing Growth as a Parent

The good news? There are countless resources available to help us navigate the journey of parenting. Books, podcasts, and online communities offer valuable insights. One book that has been particularly helpful for me is The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting by Brené Brown. This book reminds me to embrace imperfection, cultivate self-compassion, and approach parenting with an open heart and mind.

Parenting is hard, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. Every day is an opportunity to learn, grow, and strengthen your connection with your child. Remember, it’s okay to question yourself—that’s a sign you’re invested in being the best parent you can be.

Parenting may not come with a manual, but with patience, reflection, and a little grace, we can navigate this journey one step at a time.