How to Actually FEEL Your Feelings: The SIFT Method

You’ve probably heard the vague phrase “feel your feelings” before, whether it be in your own therapy, on social media, or even from your child after their therapy session! But what does it mean to feel your feelings? 

What is an emotion?

First let’s identify what emotions are. When we say the word “feeling,” we are actually only talking about one part of emotional experience. Scherer defines emotions as episodes of synchronized, interconnected changes in information processing, physical sensations, motivation, expression, and subjective feeling. If we want to get in touch with an emotion, we need to acknowledge each of these domains without judgement. 

How do we do that?

S - Sensations

    Notice what your body feels like. Start with your feet and work your way up to the top of your head. Do you feel hot, cold, tight, loose, shaky, tingly, etc.? This might feel difficult to do at the beginning, and you can use a body scan video like this one if you need more structure to identify what sensations you are experiencing. 

    You can also notice how your face feels or looks, as expressions are a culturally universal experience. Even if you aren’t sure what you’re feeling immediately, your facial expressions and vocal tones may clue you in. You can grab a mirror or try to notice if you are frowning, squeezing your eyebrows together, or even clenching your teeth.

I - Images

    What images are you noticing in your mind? Maybe there are memories connected to the emotion you’re experiencing. Let them come to you without holding them back or pushing them away. It’s okay if you don’t notice any images - everyone’s brain is different and some folks don’t see images in their mind’s eye.

F - Feelings

    This might be the part you’re used to doing already! If you had to name the feeling you’re noticing, what would you call it? If it feels hard to spontaneously come up with a word, you can look at a feelings wheel and see if one or multiple words resonate with you. 

T - Thoughts

    Notice what thoughts you’re having. Let them come and go like the images - don’t try and push them away or hold on to them. Allow each thought to float through your brain like a leaf on a stream.

SIFTing is a practice and it might take longer the first 10 times you try it. Every time you SIFT, you are building more neural connections in your brain, and just like with anything, practice makes you better and faster.