Setting Boundaries When Strangers Comment on Your Life Choices
We were recently asked by Newsweek to provide our perspective for an article about a mother who was applauded for her response to a stranger questioning why she wasn’t having more children. The article, Mom Applauded for Response to Being Called Selfish for Not Having More Children, highlights the pressures many parents—especially mothers—face when it comes to personal decisions about family size.
Inexplicably, people feel entitled to comment on deeply personal topics—parenting choices, relationship status, career paths—but you don’t owe anyone an explanation for your decisions. We suggest instead of defending yourself, you set a boundary.
Boundaries help protect your mental and emotional well-being. They communicate to others that certain topics are off-limits and reinforce that your personal choices are not up for debate. This can be especially important in parenting, where unsolicited opinions and advice often come from strangers, family members, or even well-meaning friends.
A boundary-setting response doesn’t have to be confrontational. The article discussed ways to shut down the confrontation, but here are a few other examples:
- Redirect the conversation: “That’s not something I discuss with people outside my close circle.”
- Use humor: “Oh, I didn’t realize you were taking a survey on my life choices!”
- Keep it short and firm: “That’s a personal decision, but thanks for your interest.”
When to Engage vs. When to Walk Away
Not every comment requires a response. If someone is genuinely curious and open to conversation, you may choose to engage. But if the comment is judgmental or invasive, it’s okay to shut it down and move on.
At In Bloom Counseling, we often work with clients on developing confidence in boundary-setting—whether it’s with strangers, family members, or even their own internal expectations. Everyone deserves to make decisions about their life without guilt or outside pressure.
You can read the full Newsweek article here!