Supporting Kids During the Holiday Season: Easing Holiday Overwhelm for Children Twelve and Under
Listen, holidays are great! It's often portrayed as a magical time, filled with joy, excitement, and celebration. However, for children (and honestly, teens and adults, too!), the holidays can also bring unexpected stress and overwhelm. From disrupted routines to sensory overload, kids may experience emotions that don’t always fit the festive spirit. As parents, understanding why your child might feel overwhelmed and knowing how to support them can make a big difference in creating a season that feels as joyful as it’s meant to be.
Why Kids Feel Overwhelmed During the Holidays
Change in Routine and Structure Kids thrive on routine, and the holidays often disrupt familiar schedules. School vacations, extended family visits, and travel plans can interrupt their daily structure, leaving them feeling unanchored and uncertain about what to expect from their day.
Sensory Overload The holiday season brings lights, music, new smells, and crowded events—all of which can be exciting but also overwhelming for young, sensitive nervous systems. This sensory intensity can lead to overstimulation, which may appear as irritability, fatigue, or emotional outbursts.
Increased Social Interactions During the holidays, children are often around many new faces, including extended family members or family friends they may not see often. Meeting new people or being around unfamiliar adults can cause anxiety, especially for shy or introverted children.
Gift Expectations and Comparison The anticipation of receiving and giving gifts can truly add pressure. Kids may feel anxiety over receiving the "right" gifts or worry about how their presents compare to those of their friends. Worse, this often triggers parents into feeling like their child isn't performing gratitude in the preferred way.
Pressure to be Joyful There is an unspoken expectation during the holidays to be constantly happy. For children, this pressure can feel confusing, especially if they don’t feel joyful all the time. Emotional fluctuations are natural, but they may feel the weight of staying upbeat, especially around excited family members. Well-intentioned extended family can add an additional layer when they imply to your child that their reticence, upset mood, or experience of a situation isn't the "right" way to act.
Emotional Energy of Others Kids are sponges! They can be very sensitive to the emotions of those around them, and holidays can be a stressful time for adults too. Busy schedules, financial pressures, and family dynamics can lead to tension, which kids can easily pick up on, amplifying their own stress.
How Parents Can Support Kids Through Holiday Overwhelm
Maintain Consistent Routines Where Possible We can't stress this enough. Try to keep some routines consistent, even if it's something small like a regular bedtime (this is a big one!) or a familiar breakfast. Consistent anchors help children feel safe and grounded amidst the holiday bustle.
Prepare Kids for What to Expect Let your child know what’s coming up, whether it’s a family gathering, a holiday party, or a new bedtime while traveling. Knowing what’s next helps them feel more in control and less anxious about changes.
Set Up a Sensory Break Space Create a quiet, cozy spot in your home or bring along a few comfort items when traveling. A sensory break space gives children a place to go when they need a moment to recharge. It can include favorite books, noise-canceling headphones, or a weighted blanket.
Encourage Open Conversations About Feelings Remind your child that it’s okay to feel tired, overwhelmed, or even sad during the holidays. Encourage them to share their feelings with you and validate their experiences by saying things like, “It’s okay if you feel this way; sometimes even adults feel overwhelmed during the holidays.”
Practice Empathy and Model Calm Your response to holiday stress sets an example for your child. If they see you handling stress calmly or acknowledging your own overwhelm, they’ll learn that it’s normal to feel that way and that there are healthy ways to cope with it.
Set Realistic Expectations Around Gifts Help your child shift the focus from material items to experiences and connections. Explain that gifts come in many forms, like acts of kindness or spending quality time together. This can ease the pressure around holiday gift-giving and help them appreciate the non-material aspects of the season.
Limit Screen Time and Provide Calming Alternatives Too much screen time can add to overstimulation. Encourage calming activities like reading, drawing, or family board games. Slower-paced activities allow kids to wind down and process their emotions in a supportive environment.
Plan Quiet Family Time The holidays can be packed with events, but scheduling time to slow down as a family can help everyone relax. Consider activities like baking cookies, doing a holiday craft, or just cozying up with a holiday movie at home.
Offer Reassurance Through Quality Time Spend time talking or doing something quiet together, like taking a walk or reading a story. One-on-one time with you provides reassurance and helps them feel emotionally grounded.
Teach Simple Breathing Exercises For moments of intense overwhelm, teaching your child a simple breathing exercise can be a useful tool. Techniques like “smelling the flowers” (inhale through the nose) and “blowing out the candles” (exhale through the mouth) are easy to learn and can be calming in a high-energy environment.
By understanding what your child may be experiencing and offering them simple, effective support, you can help them navigate holiday stress and savor the season in a way that feels more manageable and joyful. Together, you can create holiday memories filled with peace, connection, and comfort.