Understanding Coping Skills: When and How to Introduce Them to Children and Teens
Welcome to our blog series on coping skills! When we talk about "taking care of our feelings," we usually mean allowing ourselves to feel our feelings and utilizing some method to tolerate the distress we feel for the time we're feeling it. So...
What is a Coping Skill?
A coping skill is a technique or activity that helps individuals manage stress, anxiety, and other challenging emotions by allowing a person to process their feelings, calm themselves, and regain a sense of control. These skills can include physical activities, mental exercises, and emotional strategies. Coping skills are essential for maintaining emotional well-being and can be tailored to different age groups and individual needs.
When to Introduce Coping Skills to Children and Teens
- Introduction: Early elementary years are the perfect time to introduce basic coping skills. Children at this age are continuing the development of emotional awareness and learning how to express their feelings.
- Focus: Simple, concrete activities such as deep breathing, drawing, or physical activities are effective. These activities help children recognize and manage their emotions healthily.
Middle School (Grades 6-8):
- Reassess: As children enter middle school, they face new social and academic pressures. This is a critical period to reinforce existing coping skills and introduce more complex strategies now that they have more autonomy and self-efficacy.
- Focus: Encourage self-reflective activities like journaling and mindfulness. Promote independence by teaching skills that can be done alone, such as exercise, meditation, and creative arts.
High School:
- Encourage: High school students encounter increased responsibilities and future planning stressors. It's essential to encourage them to equip themselves with diverse coping mechanisms that they can use independently.
- Focus: Emphasize proactive and preventative strategies. Encourage teens to engage in activities like regular exercise, yoga, volunteering, and advanced mindfulness practices. Highlight the importance of balancing school, social life, and self-care.
Why Coping Skills are Important
Introducing coping skills at appropriate developmental stages helps children and teens build a toolkit of strategies they can rely on throughout their lives. By understanding and teaching coping skills, parents can help their children and teens manage stress, reduce anxiety, and improve their overall emotional well-being.
How To Approach Your Child About Coping Skills
The best time to introduce coping skills to your children is when they are calm and relaxed. This way, they feel invited to participate in the conversation about ways they can feel better, and are more receptive. They also then don't perceive the introduction of these skills as patronizing, which they may reject if the first time you're mentioning it is mid-tantrum.
It’s essential to empathize with your child's uncomfortable feelings that need assistance with coping. For example, if your child is upset about a tough assignment, acknowledge their frustration by saying, "I see that you're feeling really frustrated with this homework. It's okay to feel that way. Remember what we talked about before about coping skills? Let's take a few deep breaths together, shake off some of those feelings with a few jumping jacks, and figure out a way to tackle it."
Another example could be if your teen is feeling anxious about a social situation. You might say, "It sounds like you're feeling really anxious about the party. I understand how that can be overwhelming. When I'm upset, you know I try to take some deep breathing exercises. Would you want to try that to help calm those nerves?"
It's also important to note that while screen time might seem like an easy option, it can often backfire when it comes to emotional regulation. What we know about excessive screen time is that it can lead to increased anxiety and difficulty in managing emotions. Instead, encourage more productive coping skills that promote long-term emotional health.
We'll be making a few more posts highlighting suggestions for kids' coping skills in the next week, so stay tuned!