Why Is My Child Melting Down This Summer? (Part 1)
How Summer Dysregulation Shows Up—and Why It Deserves Empathy
Every June, we hear the same question from parents in our practice: “Why is my child acting like this?”
Maybe it started with a meltdown getting out the door to camp. Maybe it’s refusal to brush teeth, sudden clinginess, or yelling “you’re the worst parent ever” over what used to be their favorite snack. Whatever the behavior, many parents are caught off guard when summer arrives and their child (who may have been doing okay during the school year) suddenly seems emotionally... unraveled.
Let’s be clear: this isn’t because your child is spoiled or trying to make life harder. It’s because summer is actually really hard on kids’ nervous systems and they don’t always have the tools to explain what's going on for them.
A Total Reframe: What If It’s Not Misbehavior?
Here’s the truth: we’ve worked with enough families over the years to know this pattern isn’t unique. Children of all temperaments, from toddlers to tweens, often hit a summer emotional wall and the shift in both environment and expectations is usually the cause.
Let’s reframe the situation through an adult lens. Imagine this:
You’re starting a new job this week.
You don’t know your coworkers.
The managers are unfamiliar (and maybe kind of inconsistent... and young).
You don’t know the daily schedule, where things are kept, or how breaks work.
And someone tells you to "have fun!" every morning while they drop you off on the way to something else.
Now imagine that every few weeks, you get moved to a new department with new coworkers and a new boss. Oh, and you’re also being asked to manage your emotions perfectly the entire time.
That’s camp. That’s summer.
It’s not laziness or entitlement. It’s adjustment stress. And adjustment stress looks like meltdowns, defiance, shutting down, or overreactions to small things.
Why Summer Dysregulates Kids
☀ Lack of consistent routines. Even fun changes are still changes. And when children’s sleep, meals, transitions, and expectations shift from week to week (or even day to day!) their internal regulation suffers. Predictability is grounding for young brains.
☀ Camp = unfamiliar environments. Camp often means a new location, different adults (often younger, less trained), and unfamiliar kids. Some children thrive in this setting—but many feel overwhelmed, even if they don’t have the words to express it.
☀ “Downtime” isn’t always restful. Even when kids aren’t at camp, their days can feel unstructured or overstimulating. Without consistent rhythms, screen use often increases, which can backfire on mood and behavior.
☀ Transitions and interruptions. From holidays and family vacations to illness or schedule mix-ups, summer is full of disruptions. And each one resets the adjustment clock. Kids often need time to re-regulate after even small changes, something we often forget as adults.
Behavior Is a Message
One of the most important things we try to help parents remember is: Behavior is a signal, not a strategy or a manipulation.
Your child isn’t choosing to be difficult. They'd love to be laughing and having a picture perfect summer. But they’re struggling, and this is how it’s showing up.
In our blog on handling your child’s big feelings, we explore the importance of making space for emotional expression without rushing to “fix” it. Summer is a key time to apply that wisdom.
You can say (in a gentle, non-judgmental tone!):
“This morning felt really rough with all of the yelling. I wonder if starting a new camp is feeling like a lot right now.”
“I see you’re having a hard time today. It makes sense if your body is tired from so many changes.”
You don’t need to let go of boundaries. But naming your child’s experience helps them feel seen and safe, which is often what they need most when emotions are running high.
Resetting Routines (Without Shame)
If things feel off track, you’re not alone—and it’s not too late to course correct. In Part 2, we’ll share specific ways to bring more calm, connection, and structure to your summer.
We’ll also share real language examples you can use to reset boundaries without shaming your child, including tools from our blog on power struggles and holding your ground and our favorite coping skill strategies to practice when things aren’t falling apart.
Stay tuned!