Why Is My Child Melting Down This Summer (Part 2)
How to Reset the Summer Without Shame—and Support Emotional Regulation
In Part 1, we explored why summer can be so emotionally destabilizing for kids, and why it deserves far more empathy than punishment. From unpredictable routines to the social overwhelm of new camps and caregivers, children are often navigating more than we realize.
Now that we’ve reframed the “why,” let’s focus on the how: How do you bring more calm to your household when everyone’s running on empty?
Let’s talk about gentle resets, supportive boundaries, and ways to build emotional skills—even when the summer isn’t going as planned.
Step One: Reinstate Anchors of Predictability
Kids do best when there’s a rhythm they can count on. That doesn’t mean you need a color-coded schedule or every hour planned—but it does mean their bodies and nervous systems benefit from:
Waking and sleeping at consistent times
Predictable meals and snacks
Daily quiet time (even if they don’t nap)
A rough idea of “what comes next”
When the day feels chaotic, behavior usually follows suit. A few small tweaks to bring back structure can make a big impact.
You can say:
“We’ve had a lot of different days lately. Let’s make a new summer routine together so we know what to expect.”
“I’m setting up a calm time every day after lunch. You can rest, read, or draw—but it’s a time for your body to relax.”
For younger kids, a visual schedule or coping skill jar can be a great way to reintroduce structure and build independence.
Step Two: Reset Boundaries Without Shame
It’s common for summer to lead to more arguing, defiance, or emotional pushback. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed as a parent, it means your child is working through unfamiliar expectations.
Instead of doubling down with punishments, try resetting expectations with kindness and clarity. From our post on navigating power struggles, here are some examples of what that sounds like:
“I know things have felt loose lately. That’s on me. Starting today, I’m going to help us get back to more predictable routines.”
“You’re used to extra screen time, and I get it—that was working for a while. But I’m noticing it’s making the afternoons harder. Let’s figure out a better rhythm.”
“I love you too much to let this pattern keep going. You need sleep, and I need to be consistent about bedtime.”
Notice the tone: it’s firm but compassionate. You’re not blaming, lecturing, or threatening - you’re holding a boundary that helps your child feel safe and not ashamed.
Step Three: Practice Coping Skills Before the Meltdown
A major misconception is that coping skills are only for in-the-moment crises. Have you ever tried to rationalize with an upset child? Their little brains are completely offline (and to be fair, likely so are ours!). In reality, they’re most effective when taught during calm, everyday moments.
Try integrating regulation tools into your child’s daily routine so when the big emotions come, they’re not starting from scratch.
Examples:
“Let’s each pick one thing from the calm-down jar today, even if we’re not upset. Just practice.”
“It’s been a long morning. Want to go swing or do some deep breathing together before lunch?”
“You handled that frustration well! That’s what coping and taking care of our feelings looks like—let’s name what helped.”
Want more ideas? We have plenty of easy, low-tech coping skills that can build emotional resilience, especially when practiced regularly.
Step Four: Normalize the Need for Recovery Time
If your child was sick and needed time to rest, you’d probably clear the schedule and lower your expectations. We need to apply the same logic to emotional recovery.
Whenever there’s a camp break, illness, travel, or even a few rough days, kids need time to re-regulate. That might look like clinginess, protest, or regression. It doesn’t mean they’re trying to manipulate you, try to remember that it means their nervous system needs time to catch up.
You can say:
“We just had a big weekend. It’s okay to feel off today.”
“You’ve had two camps back to back. No wonder you’re feeling tired and frustrated.”
“Let’s plan some rest time so your body and brain can settle again.”
Even just naming the need for recovery helps children feel understood instead of shamed.
Step Five: Consider Therapy as a Summer Support
If your child is struggling more than usual (or you’re struggling to stay calm in the face of it) therapy can help.
Summer can be a surprisingly effective time to begin therapy:
There’s space to work on emotional skills without school pressures
Kids are already in transition, making it easier to notice patterns
You can build regulation and coping skills ahead of the new school year
Whether your child needs help expressing big feelings, handling social transitions, or rebuilding confidence, our team at In Bloom Counseling is here to support you. Learn more about how therapy works or reach out to us to explore whether summer support might be right for your family.
If this summer has felt like a mess, you are not alone. We’ve heard from so many parents over the years who share the same story: “We thought summer would be easier… but instead, it’s been meltdown after meltdown.”
You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re raising a child in transition - and transitions are hard. With empathy, consistent boundaries, and emotional tools, your family can find a rhythm again. And if you need support along the way, we’re here to help.